According to Helpguide.org while some workplace stress is normal, excessive stress can interfere with your productivity and impact your physical and emotional health. And your ability to deal with it can mean the difference between success or failure. You can’t control everything in your work environment, but that doesn’t mean you’re powerless—even when you’re stuck in a difficult situation. Finding ways to manage workplace stress isn’t about making huge changes or rethinking career ambitions, but rather about focusing on the one thing that’s always within your control: you.
Stress is a killer, and in these last days I often feel like I am in the cross-hairs of an assassin. My migraines are closer than a brother and visit me more often than my so-called friends. The tension in my neck makes my shoulder muscles buff and are reminiscent of the days when I used to be a gym rat; not good.
Though I tell myself not to worry, I think my body has a different agenda, as it cues into the little bodies telling their own stories in my office; especially those of my horrible boss. So much for being a natural psychologist, who mentally can’t quit psycho-analyzing every thing that crosses my path.
My bad boss is back after being absent for a couple days. Those four days were as peaceful as a newborns sleep. However, we all know that good things must come to an end and Friday morning was the continuation of these stress-filled symptoms in my mortal body. She has not spoken to me since I reported her to HR about her harassing and vindictive behavior. She has since stopped speaking to me and since started to send emails to our department group email account. Childish and immature, I know. Nonetheless, I am being paid to do a job, and that is what I will continue to do.
In the meantime, I am trying to figure out how to stop my internalizing. My body is reacting to the external and internal stressors. It is like asking Einstein not to be a genius; almost, impossible. I can feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins and arteries, as she came into the office and every time she walks pass. That fight or flight mechanism can be a literal killer if not used, how its meant to be used.
The headaches are common now, a daily recurrence. Largely because I cannot physically enact, my ‘animalistic’ revenge; a very violent one, I must tell you. Do not think me innocent, I am not in my head. I have spent 20 years of my life dealing with my aggression and temper issues, She has no idea of the beast that lives inside me. Only my christian beliefs and spiritual relationship with God prevents me from acting out my very violent desires.
Every person has their own demon to rein in. This is why people go postal at work, because they are trying to adhere to professionalism but are being driven towards a psychotic break.
There I said it!
Say it ain’t so!
Its like trying to tie 15 tornadoes to a Porsche. No matter how strong, beautiful and powerful the vessel, it will take divine intervention to contain those tornadoes. Hence the tight and tense muscles, tension headaches and interrupted sleep. Sounds like an ideal setting for depression to step in.
But that would not be surprising.
So here I am, at the end of the day, trying to learn how to kill my assassin – STRESS – before it it kills me.
Copyright © 2014, Denise N. Fyffe